Redeeming Marriage

Today we have the honor of hearing about a couple who has given their marriage and family to the Lord. This is a dear friend of mine and many of you know her as Sprittibee!

1. Tell us how your husband proposed to you.
Everything about my marriage and dating with my wonderful man that I have to share was PRE-JESUS. (BC if you will) So you'll have to take that in to account as you read these juicy details. We were at a U2 Concert. They were singing that song, "I'm gonna run to you... run to you... run to you..." and we were both drinking beer from the concession stand. We had nearly front row seats (row 6 or something) and Bono was dancing with a girl in a red dress on stage that he picked out of the audience. We were laughing because my mom was standing on a chair and having so much fun. We both walked back to get another beer and there was an open area on the floor after the seats stopped where you could look up and see the entire stadium all around you - all the people everywhere. He said, "You want to get married?" as we walked through the arena. I was totally caught off guard. I told him no because he didn't have a ring and wasn't on his knees. He made me wait another week before he asked again (at a park near the house where my mom grew up). He did get on his knees, but he still didn't have the ring. I was relieved that he still wanted to marry me, so I said yes - and loaned him the money to buy my ring!

Sisterlisa: Not the average Christian proposal, yet mine wasn't either Heather. ;O) Do you know what I find so amazing about this is that it's so similar to our story. I think it's good that you requested him be on his knee, even if he didn't have a ring yet. We were living in the world when we got married too, but I love seeing how the Lord transformed your lives and your marriage. Your testimony of redemption is what marriages in this world needs to hear.

2. Can you share how God worked in both your hearts in regards to your children's education?
I found out about homeschooling from a family member. It sounded good because I knew I didn't want my kids in public school. Kevin agreed with me on that, but wasn't as sure that we could afford for me to stay home. We tried the private school thing for a while, too - but God eventually worked on Kevin's heart after he went to Iraq as a contractor for a few months and realized all that we take for granted in this country. He's been faithfully supporting our decision to homeschool ever since. It hasn't always been easy financially or stress-wise, but it has been such a blessing and God has always seen us through.

Sisterlisa: I also had my children in a private Christian school. How amazing that God worked in his heart while he was away. That just goes to show us that the Holy Spirit is speaking, even if we don't think He is. He does a much better job at leading our husbands than we think we can. ;O)

3. Is there an area of your life that your husband supports you in that you are blessed by in a particular way?
My husband is my best friend... so there are lots of ways that he supports me emotionally that almost go un-noticed because they are so commonplace. He always works hard - is a wonderful and faithful provider for our family... he's a great daddy and is very loving to the kids. Another thing he does that I love is he notices our needs and likes and often picks little things up here and there at the store for us. It makes me smile when I see a new tube of toothpaste on the bathroom counter that I didn't ask him for. Simple things often are overlooked, but they are much appreciated.

Sisterlisa: I admire that he knows your needs and gets things for you. Sure shows that he's thinking of you and the children while he's away.

4. Please share with us 3 things that you do for your husband from a heart of service that other women may not feel comfortable doing and explain how God led you to be this kind of wife.
I don't know if this question is a great one for me. I pick up his clothes, wash them, educate his kids, do his taxes - paperwork - bills - checkbook, clean his house, cook his meals (when he isn't taking us out to eat because he knows I need a break - he's great about that), and many other things that most women would do. I don't think I'm an exceptional wife or that I do anything for him out of the ordinary. I don't even cook him his favorite foods all of the time. I guess I really should find three ways to bless him that are extraordinary. I would love to. So far, I think we both are just comfortable with each other after these 16 years and maybe both of us could use a little nudge to re-focus on each other. It is easy to just be busy living and not spend too much time thinking about the deep parts of your relationships.

Sisterlisa: It sounds like you both have learned to give and take. My husband also treats our family to meals out for me to have a break.

5. What activities do you and your husband enjoy participating in without your children?
Not much. We like to have date nights sometimes. When our kids stay with friends or family, we watch movies and eat out (or in) together. For the most part we do almost everything with the kids tagging along.

Sisterlisa: I am blessed to have a sixteen year old who helps watch the children so we can have one night out a week. We try not to be gone long, but sometimes it's needed. We do a lot with the children as well.

6. Please share a truly momentous occasion that you shared together other than your wedding and the birth of your children.
One of the things that stands out in my mind - that reminds me of the kind of loving person my husband is - is the time when I was very sick with spinal meningitis. I had to be hospitalized for a week and almost learn to walk again because I was so weak. I lost over 10 pounds and I was in my early 20's and already a stick. While I was sick on bed rest the week after I was in the hospital, he carried me to the bathroom and even bathed me. He also surprised me with a salt water fish tank that he set up while I was in bed that week. We both really liked fish and were in to fresh and salt water fish before we had kids. I have found through the years that he is trustworthy and faithful... and attentive to my needs. It doesn't have to be a momentous occasion to be one that warms your heart. God is in the details. Love is in the details. The every-day moments that we share, laughing and having fun together as parents and lovers are priceless - even if they might be forgotten after a while. If you build your relationship on smiles and friendship, and center it on Jesus, it will provide you with the kind of joy that God intended.

Sisterlisa: That is true love! How tender his heart is to go above and beyond what most men would do.

7. Have you and your husband ever faced a very difficult situation or decision where God proved His love and faithfulness to you, when others had doubts? Please share. :)
My husband's family and friends were worried about him leaving to go to Iraq when he worked over there as a contractor. Some of them were upset that I would let him go. We had prayed about it and he felt that it was something that God wanted him to do. It was the hardest thing I ever did - leaving him at the airport and putting him on that plane. The war was young and contractors were being kidnapped and killed. It was a bad time for being in Iraq - especially for a blonde and blue eyed boy from America with no military training. I prayed for those few months that he was there - for hours each night - into the night... I read through Stormie Omartian's book "The Power of a Praying Wife" countless times. When he had left he was unhappy with his job here - took a lot for granted - wasn't interested in our family homeschooling - was a bit self-centered.

When he came back he was a changed man. It was like the movie "Summersby". He was much more appreciative, attentive, aware, connected to the kids, totally supportive of homeschooling, happy and thankful for his blessings. In just a few short months and a glimpse in to the way others live over seas, God had done a marvelous work in him... and as a bonus, he was able to share the gospel with a few Iraqi friends. We have many stories of how God has worked with us through circumstances and blessed us through our steadfast belief in Him and obedience to His Word.

I'm so thankful that I didn't try to stop him from trusting the Lord and stepping out in faith - even though I couldn't see how it would be good for our family for us to be apart and was afraid of the circumstances that might happen if he were to go into a war zone. God blessed my obedience and faith with a miraculous change in an already wonderful man. I'm so thankful.
God's ways are always the best way. He's proven to me in my life that He always has something better in store for me than I could have imagined on my own. Kevin is one of those things, and I am eternally grateful to be graced by God.

Thank you for sharing your life with us Heather. What a joy to see how God has worked in your lives and in your marriage!

Apples of Gold Ministries

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{ MrsD/Jacque } at: August 19, 2008 at 9:52 AM said...

Oh Heather~
I am so happy to get to know you better in this way! I can tell from the way you talk about Kevin how much you love each other, but to hear these humble words directly from you is such a blessing!!

I am so thankful and happy that you were following the Lord's leading when Kevin went to Iraq. It was worth it. And we don't see, but sometimes we don't need to.
God is in the details. You are right.
You have inspired me my dear. Thank you for this, and thank you, Sisterlisa, for having her to answer these questions.
Love you both!!

{ Grandma Starr } at: August 21, 2008 at 10:48 AM said...

A very touching interview and response. It shows the very power of God in our lives. Thank you so much for sharing.

Grandma Starr

{ Sprittibee } at: August 25, 2008 at 10:58 AM said...

Thanks, Lisa. It was great to do this interview and refocus on my #1 purpose next to Jesus himself. Sometimes we get busy with the kids, the homeschooling, the money... and loose track of how very important our spouse is! I was very blessed for the reminder.

{ dianne - bunny trails } at: August 25, 2008 at 11:26 AM said...

It's so refreshing to hear about people who care about their marriages. There are just too many people who knock their spouses, even in within the church. Praise God for the work He's done, and will continue to do, in and through your lives. What a blessing to have a husband who loves the Lord, his wife, and kids.

Thanks for sharing, Heather! :D

{ Wendy } at: August 25, 2008 at 1:57 PM said...

What a precious testimony. Thank you for sharing with us Heather. The Power of a Praying Wife saw me through one of the darkest times in our marriage. I can clearly see how it helped you. For me, it brought to light a lot of things I could change in myself as a wife, too. I started out praying for him, but by the end of the book was praying for me just as much if not more! That's a great read. Again, thanks for sharing :O)

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