Healing After Abuse

Many times I have known women who have been battered by their husbands, beaten in schools by bullies, verbal abused by 'friends', and outcast by cliques. If you are a lady who has experienced all of those in your life time you are not alone and may God bless your soul with His infinite grace and mercy as you seek Him for healing. Although not all of us have experienced all of these types of abuse, but perhaps we have suffered at the hands of a few abusers in our life time. The pain is still there and we need healing.

I'm not going to explain all the facts about the cycle of abuse an abuser goes through or really the cycle the victim goes through. Although, I do feel that education is key in escaping that cycle and breaking it once and for all so you never return to it again. What I aim to do today is simply direct you to Jesus Christ. He loves you more than you can ever imagine. He knows your pain and He was with you when it happened. He knows every intricate detail of the amount of physical pain, emotional shame, spiritual upheaval, and social consequences to what you have experienced.

I have experienced a few of these types of abuse in my life and sometimes I just don't want to think about it. Many times I have pushed those memories to the back of my mind, the darkest place of my being, so that I don't have to relive every painful moment of my past. Yet time and time again, some how some way that pain is brought forth to the front of my mind and heart, desperately seeking to be brought to light. Why must I keep seeing those horrible images of memories be brought out again and again? Why can't I just hide them forever and not remember them ever again? I want it to stay in the deepest, darkest parts of my memories so I don't have to see it! There's something about this resurfacing of pain. It must be brought to the light, the Light named Jesus Christ.

Yes, he knows our every pain and he is already well aware of what has happened to us, but have we actually handed it over to Him so He can do what He wants with it? When we plant a seed of pain and anguish in the deepest, darkest parts of our being, it begins to germinate and take root. This is the process of bitterness. Bitterness breeds hate and hate grips our minds and souls with its talons and rips us apart from the inside. If we allow bitterness to take root then how can Christ work through us to extend grace to those who need to see Him?

I feel that sometimes we don't think we are bitter, but when triggers appear and our first reaction is anger or we experience pain again then we most surely have allowed that seed to germinate. That root system must be brought to the Light so He can do His work on us. His Light is a dividing light that will shine so bright that it burns up that root system and seed so that it will no longer exist. The memories will always be with us, but the pain they cause will cease. When He brings it out, he will not use it against us, to hurt us, belittle us, or condemn us.

He wants to show us what he does with that bitterness and pain. He wants to show us how he covers it with His own blood, so that we can look at it through His eyes and see the beauty he brings to all things. All things for His good pleasure. To show us how much he loves us and how his mercy and grace can reach down to the deepest, darkest parts of our being, and gently lift the root system out. He then will place his gentle, healing hand over our fresh wound and anoint us with His healing power. He wants to embrace us and have us embrace him back.

I won't tell you that it won't be without tears and pain, it just may hurt at first, but only if we look at the root system with hatred and disgust. If we indeed look at this process with those eyes then we are no better than the one who hurt us. We must submit to the power of Christ and allow Him to show us how to look through the eyes of grace. I can only say these words to you because I know how this feels. Last night God showed me how to look at one of my past abusers through His eyes of grace. As he showed me this abuser I began to pray for this man. I prayed for him and the family he now has. The more I pray for him the more my heart heals. The more my heart heals, the more grace I can see. The more grace I can see, the clearer my vision of Christ becomes and that is the ultimate goal. To see Christ in all His glory, as much as we can possibly see with our human eyes and he sure wants us to see Him up close and personal.

Dear Believer, Jesus Christ can heal your broken heart. You can trust Him. I don't know if you'll ever trust the abuser again or any person who holds a similar position, but I know you can trust Jesus Christ. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Let him embrace you and embrace him right back. No quick hugs, let this embrace last you a lifetime. Don't ever let go.


Song of Solomon 2:6, "His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me."

11 *click here* to dialogue with us:

{ Serena Woods } at: September 15, 2009 at 11:24 AM said...

Lisa, this is beautiful. I love that verse from Song of Solomon. People need to know that when we can get past the bitterness we'll be able to see the purpose. If you put a drop of sun in a clay vase, you can see the sun pour through the cracks. Maybe we thought we were made to just hold flowers, when we're actually made to to be lamps.

{ Sisterlisa } at: September 15, 2009 at 11:39 AM said...

What a beautiful response about the lamp Serena. Thank you!!!

{ Traci~ Ordinary Inspirations for the everyday wife, mommy, and homemaker } at: September 15, 2009 at 12:01 PM said...

Thanks for all you do in the blogging world! God Bless You. Come grab your award from me!

http://ordinaryinspirations.blogspot.com/2009/09/my-first-blog-award.html

{ Teri Lynne } at: September 15, 2009 at 12:17 PM said...

"That root system must be brought to the Light so He can do His work on us." I love this word picture. Light brings healing and renewal ... it is not insignificant that we find written in God's Word that His mercies are fresh every morning for it is in the light that we find new focus, new joy, and new strength.

{ Sisterlisa } at: September 15, 2009 at 9:41 PM said...

Thank you Traci!!

Thanks Teri Lynne. I shared this at The Sarah Home today and many had tears and all had encouragement from this and these supportive comments.

{ Bianca } at: September 17, 2009 at 10:01 AM said...

What a beautiful word picture! I know redemption can be found in the written word so I hope this goes beyond the blogosphere and into the hearts of those who need to hear this.

{ pjmomof3boys } at: October 8, 2009 at 8:58 PM said...

This post really touched me as I've been dealing with this for about 6 years now not as a victim myself, but as a mom of a victim. Through a group session this summer I was able to say good-bye to the anger and bitterness I had toward the abuser and his parents and I began to forgive. Wow, is that hard to do, but I know it's exactly what needs to happen. What I now struggle with is how to help my son grow up to understand how what happened to him and how God was with him then, now, and always.

"He wants to show us what he does with that bitterness and pain. He wants to show us how he covers it with His own blood, so that we can look at it through His eyes and see the beauty he brings to all things. All things for His good pleasure. To show us how much he loves us and how his mercy and grace can reach down to the deepest, darkest parts of our being, and gently lift the root system out. He then will place his gentle, healing hand over our fresh wound and anoint us with His healing power. He wants to embrace us and have us embrace him back."

The above paragraph that you wrote is exactly what I needed to hear, and what I want to someday help my son to see. Thank you so much.

{ Sisterlisa } at: October 8, 2009 at 9:05 PM said...

Thank you Bianca. I pray for that too.

PJMom,
Each person has their journey in the life. They each have their divine appointment with Christ to have His healing love be revealed to them. Just keep praying for your son's heart to be a forgiving heart. Help him keep his focus on Christ. I've seen my children suffer in various forms of abuse (mental, emotional, verbal, social) it's difficult to see, but all I could do was direct them to Christ for their comforting and give the motherly hug that they wanted and needed.((hugs))

Each form of abuse has it's depths of damage and scars left behind. But Christ is our healer.

{ Jennifer Sikora } at: October 9, 2009 at 4:03 PM said...

You make me think about forgiveness for our abusers. It is so very hard to do just that, but if you give God the chance to cleanse your heart...HE will.

{ jenny } at: October 10, 2009 at 5:29 AM said...

True. It is so easy to respond with hate, but we are not supposed to respond like this. How can we ever have expected to be forgiven if we are not willing to forgive others. I was bullied in school and it is so easy to fall into self pity as well, but we have to remember self pitying is selfish. Thanks for the reminder.

{ Bonni } at: August 18, 2010 at 10:27 AM said...

Visiting from iFellowship. Wonderful post!

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