Have you ever had those days when you just feel like laying in bed with a box of Kleenex and cry all day? Sometimes there's no apparent reason, but just an overwhelming flood of emotions that knock you flat out. David wrote about such things in Psalms. It is obvious he suffered from different stages of depression.
He felt loneliness, despair, suffering, self-condemnation, etc. His emotions became overwhelming for different reasons. Some were due to the persecution he suffered at the hands of Saul. David loved the king and could have taken King Saul's life in the cave that day, but he chose not to. He remained hidden in the cave, safe from danger, but still feeling the fear inside, that the king he loved so much sought to slay him.
Later in life he suffered from depression as he faced the guilt of his sin with Bathsheba. But through that time he realized the grace of God, as he could have suffered so much deeper, but because he had a heart after God, our Lord was merciful.
We know that Job suffered from overwhelming emotions as well, as he lost all of his children and wealth. Job was an upright man, he did not deserve the attack from the enemy. God, in his sovereignty, allowed that attack and Job sought God in the middle of all that pain.
Just because someone is innocent of accusations against them does not mean they go without emotional suffering during such an attack. I am in amazement that David remained loving towards Saul as Saul chased him throughout the land with such hatred. From what we read about their story it seems as though King Saul really didn't understand just how much David loved him. King Saul was driven by his jealousy over the victories God was giving to David. David was not trying to out-do King Saul in battle, it was being given to him by God. Nonetheless, Saul hated David and wanted him dead. Perhaps, that in Saul's mind, he felt justified that he was the anointed king who had divine right to the throne, but failed to recognize that God is king of kings and could replace him if he so chooses. The throne really belonged to God and God chooses who sits on that earthly thrones. When we hold onto the thing we most desperately think we have a right to, is just when God may choose to show us that our focus to keep our eyes on Him, has failed. Whether we are the victim or the persecutor, we all experience those battles of the mind.
When we experience an attack from people we love, it hurts. It hurts a lot. The emotional anguish of betrayal is so painful that you feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest. It's a pain that makes it hard to breathe. It feels like a part of your heart has died. In that death, Jesus Christ can show you His life. In our weakness, he is strong. Even when we feel weak, it's His strength that carries us through. It doesn't change the sadness you feel. It doesn't stop the tears from overtaking you. It doesn't relieve the heaviness in your chest when you try to breathe, but He is there and he is carrying you. Be sure you have a multitude of counselors who can keep you encouraged during this time. Pray for God to protect you from more attacks as you recover. Ask loved ones to keep additional stress from being put on your shoulders. And when you feel like crying, it's okay to do so. Just take a few minutes and cry out to Jesus, but then get back up and get back to life. He will renew you and strengthen you each and every day.
2 Corinthians 12:9, "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."